I hate Suria! And it’s not even a person. For the benefit of the bewildered, Suria happens to be a television channel of Mediacorp. I’ve expressed my loath for its programmes (with the exception of Dia, which is also starting to irk me with its dumb characters) and literally anything remotely related or can be related to it, only too frequently. But what pissed me off tonight was the fact that they showed the wrong anchor’s teaser before the news. It may seem like no big deal, knowing that mistakes happen all the time – especially so for Suria. But it was Daud who presented tonight, and they showed the teaser of some lacklustre looking guy whose name I don’t even know.

I probably wouldn’t even bother so much about it, if not for my mom. She’s been yakking for weeks, that Suria started showing anchors’ teaser before the start of news. Not only telling, but also particularly detailed about how Daud was very sporting on camera - unlike his news persona - complete with a wicked smile (I mean my mom). She knows the reaction that it will generate from me. She knows that my irregular working hours doesn’t enable me to watch him present the news frequently – especially since I never knew when it’s his turn to present. I want to see Daud’s teaser!!!

Before any of you jump to conclusions that I am this psycho-television-personality-stalker, I firmly verify that I do not stalk him; neither do I collect photographs of him. I don’t send him emails or cards or whatever form of contact with him. In fact the only incident/contact/whatever where it involves him and me, was when we both attended the same breaking fast function co-organized by my previous company. We smiled at each other and that’s it. That was about five years ago...

If there were a Malay guy that I would love to get to know better (I refuse to use the word date), it would be him. This may be a common phrase among many Malay women out there coz Daud is a sought after bachelor in the community. But coming from me it is a big deal, coz those who know me personally are very aware of my dislike for Malay men. Most of the guys that I’ve dated were non-Malays. Not being a racist here, but I’ve had very bad experiences with the few Malay men whom I have dated before.

What is it that draws me to him? I don’t really know. Could it be thin his lips? I’ve always been attracted to thin lips. But I know that it’s not his physical appearance that attracts me. He looks so serious when he’s presenting - what with all the current affairs programmes – but he gives me the illusion of a cheeky person behind the shy looking occasional smile. The kind of come-get-to-know-me-if-you-are-daring-enough-and-I’ll-show-you-my-idea-of-fun. I imagine him to be someone who juz calls his wife (he’s not married btw, at least not to my knowledge) and say pack your bags, we are flying to Bali tonight.

Oh well, I dun really know why I’m going into such details about my imagination of him. For all I know, he may be a complete jerk who abuses his girlfriend and throws kittens down the rubbish chute. Which is why, I’ve never been a believer of celebrity chasing. They may not be how they portray themselves to be in the media. But I make one exception – if I ever get within one meter radius of Michael Owen, I’ll make sure I get to kiss him! Anyway, back to the reason I started ranting – the teaser. Yeah, and I really ended up being teased, by my mom...

It’s okay mom, tease me all you want. Ultimately, it’s you who is desperate to get me married. Maybe few years down the road, and I’m still not married, you might be the one begging Daud to marry me coz I told you that he’s the only Malay guy whom I might consider. Then, I’ll have the upper hand and be able to tell you that I only said that to get you off my back on the topic of marriage.