You know you've got issues with trust when you can't even trust the librarian...

I went to the library to return some books today... and as per my usual practice lately, I checked the OPAC system if they have any of the shopaholic series which are not on loan (I've been hooked to these books by Sophie Kinsella you see, and I refuse to buy them coz there really isn't any space in my room to store any more stuff)... Turns out that they do have one of it available (which is sooo rare)... Being the kiasu Singaporean, I rushed to the section and almost knocked down an innocent man along the way... That was kinda funny coz he started looking around for what I was rushing for... He probably thinks that the library is handing out some freebies haha...

When I got to the section, I couldn't find the book!!! First I searched for authors staring with KIN, then I expanded to all that starts with K, then J and even L... I was starting to get frustrated by then, coz I was juz so close to laying my hands on it and yet I couldn't find it... I politely asked for assistance from a librarian who was arranging some books nearby... and she didn't look very pleased and juz told me that if it's not there, it could be anywhere... Now, that's very helpful of her isn't it... I got a little unnerved by her reply and asked her if there are any specific sections that I can try, maybe like "Just returned", "Recommended" or whatever... and she just gave me a frustrated look and said, "If it's not there, it could be misplaced. It could be anywhere".

With that reply, I walked off indignantly... determined that I shall find the book and proof to her that I can do a better job than her...

"Bloody librarian... some help you are... god knows why the govt employed you... waste of my tax... I bet if I reserved the book (with a fee), you will be able to get me the book in a jiffy... bitch..."

I went through every shelf facing the "K" section, behind it, next to it, almost every shelf within 2 meter radius of the “K” section... I took out every book that was blocking some other book, hoping that my book was hidden by some people who are just plain selfish to not let anyone else borrow the book coz they have maxed their borrowing limit (ermm I have to admit that I have these thoughts coz of I am that selfish person when I'm out shopping and for some reason, I can't buy what I wanted)... Well, to cut the story short... I couldn't find it... and when I went to the OPAC again, someone else have apparently borrowed it out by then... Sigh, so much for my determination...

It got me thinking though... Why am I getting all worked up over a book? I'm sure the librarian faces people like me everyday... expecting them to be this superhuman, with eyes which can even see through the diamond studs forming the words SEXY on your panties, who can miraculous pick out this book in the middle of nowhere simply at your demand... Needless to say, I am ashamed of myself... I am no better than those aunties who join queues outside shopping centres without knowing what exactly what they are queueing up for...

I dun know whether to call it fate... But it turned out that a book that I reserved months ago was ready for pickup… Maybe I was not meant to borrow that shopaholic book… Maybe it’s a sign... it’s ironically entitled, He’s just not that into you...